Enlightened Relating

White Magic

2009-05-22T00:13:00.000-07:00

The alchemy of being loving as a genuine expression of who you are, not what you do, is that you may finally, at last, stumble upon the high magic of love without exclusivity that is held in the container of full integrity... that heals the body and mind and recognizes spirit and soul and delights in the ecstasy of the flesh.

At Home in the Village Again

2009-05-07T18:29:00.001-07:00

Leaving the world of my past is turning out to leave me with a tremendous amount of space for what I really love! I realized today that I had been returned to my early childhood favorite thing to do... When I was a little girl, I lived in a village... and I spent hours going around and talking with neighbors and playing in their gardens and playing with my friends. As I let go of my past this weekend in the Landmark Forum... or should I say, got over my past being a source of only focusing on what hurt, what went "wrong", magic happened and I am back in the saddle again... I'm home in the village again!

I am sending a very special thank you to Tras Berg for being a consistent and determined source of possibility for me to experience Landmark. Sending you much love, much gratitude and much celebration...

I got it!

Love,
~Gayla

Barack Obama

2009-04-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me, what do you want, Gayla? What do you really want?

To add to what OSHO has to say, I offer this, a candid look at Barack Obama's first 100 days in the White House...

http://laughingsquid.com/candid-photos-of-barack-obama-on-flickr-of-his-first-100-days-in-office/
Enlightened Relating? Sacred Beauty? Love?

Yes.

I surrender... fully. period.

Love,
~Gayla

When Can You Be the Lover? OSHO

2009-04-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

You will have to live dangerously. You will have to move towards the unknown, and you will have to love persons and not things. You will have to be ready not to possess anybody, because the moment you possess the person is not there. Only a thing can be possessed. OSHO

When you look through the eyes of logic, you will know a few things, but those few things will not give you the vision of reality. They will be only abstractions.

When you look through love, then you know the reality as it is. Love is falling with the universe, together; falling in a togetherness. It is orgasmic: you are streaming, and the existence has always been streaming, and both streamings meet and mingle and are infused in each other. A higher synthesis arises: the part is meeting in the whole and the whole is meeting in the part. Then something arises which is more than the part and the whole together -- that's what love is. 'Love' is one of the most significant words in human languages, because love is existential language.

But somehow, from the very childhood, we are being crippled. Our roots with the heart are cut. We are forced towards the head and we are not allowed to move towards the heart. It is something humanity has suffered for long, a calamity -- that man has not yet become capable of living with love.

There are reasons.

Love is risky. To love is to move into danger -- because you cannot control it, it is not safe. It is not within your hands. It is unpredictable: where it will lead nobody knows. Whether it will lead anywhere, that too nobody knows. One is moving into utter darkness but roots grow only in darkness. If the roots of a tree become afraid of darkness and don't move underground, the tree will die. They have to move into darkness. They have to find their way towards the deepest layers of the earth where they can find sources of water, nourishment.

The heart is the darkest part of your being. It is like a dark night. It is your very womb, it is your earth.

So people are afraid to move into darkness; they would like to remain in light. At least you can see where you are and what is going to happen. You are safe, secure. When you move in love, you cannot calculate the possibilities, you cannot calculate the results. You cannot be result-oriented. For love, future does not exist, only the present exists. You can be in this moment but you cannot think anything about the next moment. No planning is possible in love.

The society, civilization, culture, church, all force a small child to be more logical. They try to focus his energies in the head. Once the energies are focused in the head, it becomes very difficult to fall towards the heart. In fact, every child is born with great love energy. The child is born out of love energy.

we teach logic. These seem to be measures for survival. We teach fear, we teach caution, we teach prudence, and all these together kill the possibility of love.

If you love a woman, you are immediately ready to reduce her to being your wife, that is, you are ready to reduce her to a certain role: the role of a wife -- which is more predictable than the reality of a beloved. If you love a man you are ready to possess him like a thing. You would like him to be your husband, because a lover is more liquid; one never knows....

A husband seems to be more solid. At least the law is there, the court is there, the police is there, the state government is there to give a certain solidity to the husband. A lover seems to be like a dream: not so substantial. Immediately people fall in love, they are ready to get married -- such fear of love! And whomsoever we love, we start trying to control. That's the conflict that goes on between wives and husbands, mothers and sons, brothers and sisters, friends -- who is going to possess whom? That means: who is going to define whom, who is going to reduce-whom to a thing? Who will be the master and who will be the slave?

Remember, the first calamity is that one becomes head-oriented. The second calamity is that one starts substituting love needs with things. Then you are lost, lost in the desert land. Then you will never reach to the ocean. Then you will simply dissipate and evaporate. Then your whole life will be a sheer wastage.

The moment you become aware that this is what is happening, turn the tide: make all efforts to again contact the heart. Make contact with the heart again to undo that which has been done to you by the society. Undoing that which has been done by the society is true religion, undoing all nonsense that has been done by your well-wishers. They may be thinking that they are helping you, and they may not be knowingly destroying you; they may themselves be victims of their parents and their society. I'm not saying anything against them. Great compassion is needed for them.

The head has become so dominant that it does not allow any spontaneity. It has become dictatorial. It does not allow the heart even to utter a single word; it has forced the heart to be completely quiet. You will have to listen again to the heart. You will have to start dropping logic a little. You will have to take a few risks.

You will have to live dangerously. You will have to move towards the unknown, and you will have to love persons and not things. You will have to be ready not to possess anybody, because the moment you possess the person is not there. Only a thing can be possessed.

Try to understand it as deeply as possible: the moment you fall in love with somebody, immediately your whole conditioning starts trying to possess him. Resist that temptation; the devil is tempting you -- the devil of the society, the devil of civilization and the church. The devil stands in a very religious garb, and the devil goes on quoting scriptures. Beware!

Whenever you start possessing you are killing love. So either you can possess the person or you can love the person; both together are not possible.

The ego goes on agreeing for wrong things, because the ego can exist only with the wrong. It feeds on the wrong. So whenever you feel that your ego is fulfilled, beware! -- you have eaten something wrong, you have swallowed something wrong. Whenever you feel egoless, relax -- now you have eaten the right, something which is in tune with your nature.

Ego arises out of disturbance, but ego has its own logic. It goes on saying that you are important, that you are the most important man in the world, and you have to prove it. And we are all trying to do this one way or the other -- somebody by possessing more money, somebody by possessing a beautiful woman, somebody by possessing prestige, power, somebody by becoming a president or a premier, somebody by becoming an artist, a poet, somebody by becoming a MAHATMA -- but we are all trying in some way or other to prove our innermost fantasy, that we are the most important person in the world.

Then you cannot be a lover.

OSHO

Forget Relationship! Let's Relate!

2009-04-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

So it's official! I changed the name of the blog from Enlightened Relationships to Enlightened Relating... It's time for more beauty in the world! Relating is all there is...

Surrender

2009-04-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

I offered the post below which you can access HERE as encouragement (to anyone who wants to share the encouragement I am giving to myself) for deepening into surrender... When love has been present between people, it is always present... always... even when hate is also present. A man shared this with me at a very irie party I attended this weekend... about Africa... "what your people call friendship, my people call love"

Sometimes the ego leads me around in spinning circles... I am offered silk but my ego tells me it is burlap...

Hate melts in the heart of surrender... So, where there has been the misunderstanding of hate, I offer my surrender... in the end... only kindness matters.. and we are all on our way to a very new world... may surrender into love, infinite love, abide!

Relationships - True Love and the Transcendence of Duality

2009-04-24T21:31:00.000-07:00

I found this article when I went exploring to find information about Love/Hate relationships and why they have such a grip in Western society. I'm aware that the very language we use in most of our culture tends to be a set up for polarity... I invite anyone who wishes to join me in speaking the language of non duality... love and let love... (source of article at bottom of page)

Relationships - True Love and the Transcendence of Duality

During my travels, one of the most frequently asked question is "What is it like to be in relationship with an enlightened being?" Why this question? Perhaps they have the idea or image of an ideal relationship, and want to know more about it. Perhaps their mind wants to project itself to a future time when they, too, will be in an ideal relationship and find themselves through it.

What is it like to be in relationship with an enlightened being?

As long as I have the idea in my head "I have a relationship" or "I am in a relationship," no matter with whom, I suffer. This I have learnt.

With the concept of "relationship" come expectations, memories of past relationships, and further personally and culturally conditioned mental concepts of what a "relationship" should be like. Then I would try to make reality conform to these concepts. And it never does. And again I suffer. The fact of the matter is: there are no relationships. There is only the present moment, and in the moment there is only relating.

How we relate, or rather how well we love, depends on how empty we are of ideas, concepts, expectations.

Recently, I asked Eckhart to say a few words on the ego's search for "love relationships." Our conversation quickly went deeper to touch upon some of the most profound aspects of human existence. Here's what he said:

ET: What is conventionally called "love" is an ego strategy to avoid surrender. You are looking to someone to give you that which can only come to you in the state of surrender. The ego uses that person as a substitute to avoid having to surrender. The Spanish language is the most honest in this respect. It uses the same verb, te quiero, for "I love you" and "I want you." To the ego, loving and wanting are the same, whereas true love has no wanting in it, no desire to possess or for your partner to change. The ego singles someone out and makes them special. It uses that person to cover up the constant underlying feeling of discontent, of "not enough," of anger and hate, which are closely related. These are facets of an underlying deep seated feeling in human beings that is inseparable from the egoic state.

When the ego singles something out and says "I love" this or that, it's an unconscious attempt to cover up or remove the deep-seated feelings that always accompany the ego: the discontent, the unhappiness, the sense of insufficiency that is so familiar. For a little while, the illusion actually works. Then inevitably, at some point, the person you singled out, or made special in your eyes, fails to function as a cover up for your pain, hate, discontent or unhappiness which all have their origin in that sense of insufficiency and incompleteness. Then, out comes the feeling that was covered up, and it gets projected onto the person that had been singled out and made special - who you thought would ultimately "save you." Suddenly love turns to hate. The ego doesn't realize that the hatred is a projection of the universal pain that you feel inside. The ego believes that this person is causing the pain. It doesn't realize that the pain is the universal feeling of not being connected with the deeper level of your being - not being at one with yourself.

The object of love is interchangeable, as interchangeable as the object of egoic wanting. Some people go through many relationships. They fall in love and out of love many times. They love a person for a while until it doesn't work anymore, because no person can permanently cover up that pain.

Only surrender can give you what you were looking for in the object of your love. The ego says surrender is not necessary because I love this person. It's an unconscious process of course. The moment you accept completely what is, something inside you emerges that had been covered up by egoic wanting. It is an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, aliveness. It is the unconditioned, who you are in your essence. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself. When that happens, a completely different kind of love is present which is not subject to love / hate. It doesn't single out one thing or person as special. It's absurd to even use the same word for it. Now it can happen that even in a normal love / hate relationship, occasionally, you enter the state of surrender. Temporarily, briefly, it happens: you experience a deeper universal love and a complete acceptance that can sometimes shine through, even in an otherwise egoic relationship. If surrender is not sustained, however, it gets covered up again with the old egoic patterns. So, I'm not saying that the deeper, true love cannot be present occasionally, even in a normal love / hate relationship. But it is rare and usually short-lived.

Whenever you accept what is, something deeper emerges then what is. So, you can be trapped in the most painful dilemma, external or internal, the most painful feelings or situation, and the moment you accept what is, you go beyond it, you transcend it. Even if you feel hatred, the moment you accept that this is what you feel, you transcend it. It may still be there, but suddenly you are at a deeper place where it doesn't matter that much anymore.

The entire phenomenal universe exists because of the tension between the opposites. Hot and cold, growth and decay, gain and loss, success and failure, the polarities that are part of existence, and of course part of every relationship.

KE: Then it's correct to say, we can never get rid of the polarities?

ET: We cannot get rid of polarities on the level of form. However, you can transcend the polarities through surrender. You are then in touch with a deeper place within yourself where, as it were, the polarities no longer exist. They continue to exist on the outer level. However, even there, something changes in the way in which the polarities manifest in your life when you are in a state of acceptance or surrender. The polarities manifest in a more benign and gentle way.

The more unconscious you are, the more you are identified with form. The essence of unconsciousness is this: identification with form, whether it is an external form (a situation, place, event or experience), a thought form or an emotion. The more attached to form, the more unsurrendered you are, and the more extreme, violent or harsh your experience of the polarities becomes. There are people on this planet who live virtually in hell and on the same planet there are others who live a relatively peaceful life. The ones who are at peace inside will still experience the polarities, but in a much more benign way, not the extreme way in which many humans still experience them. So, the way in which the polarities are experienced does change. The polarities themselves cannot be removed, but one could say, the whole universe becomes somewhat more benevolent. It's no longer so threatening. The world is no longer perceived as hostile, which is how the ego perceives it.

KE: If awakening or living a life in an awakened state does not change the natural order of things, duality, the tension between the opposites, what does living a life in the awakened state do? Does it affect the world, or only one's subjective experience of the world?

ET: When you live in surrender, something comes through you into the world of duality that is not of this world.

KE: Does that actually change the outer world?

ET: Internal and external are ultimately one. When you no longer perceive the world as hostile, there is no more fear, and when there is no more fear, you think, speak and act differently. Love and compassion arise, and they affect the world. Even if you find yourself in a conflict situation, there is an outflow of peace into the polarities. So then, something does change. There are some teachers or teachings that say, nothing changes. That is not the case. Something very important does change. That which is beyond form shines through the form, the eternal shines through the form into this world of form.

KE: Is it right to say that it is your lack of "reaction against," your acceptance of the opposites of this world, that brings about changes in the way the opposites manifest?

ET: Yes. The opposites continue to happen, but they are not fueled by you anymore. What you said is a very important point: the "lack of reaction" means that the polarities are not fueled. This means, you often experience a collapse of the polarities, such as in conflict situations. No person, no situation is made into an "enemy."

KE: So, the opposites, instead of becoming strengthened, become weakened. And perhaps this is how they begin to dissolve.

ET: That's right. Living in that way is the beginning of the end of the world.

Reprinted from http://eckharttolle.com/interviews_75

By Kim Eng Copyright September 2004 Source: Eckhart Teachings

The Artist Answers the Call

2009-04-21T00:41:00.001-07:00

It's pretty funny how nothing in me wanted to move forward living the same old life, trying to get the same old routine going in some revised version of what I have been doing for over 10 years. My life as a "healer" is now upgrading. My life as an artist has been waiting for me for years and years and years... a multi happy, super lively, harmony rendering artist. I've been mourning lost opportunities to say yes to a traveling life as an artist long enough.

Integrating all I have learned and know as a healer and packing it in the thimble it really belongs in so that life is finally about really simple things that matter and will always matter, no matter how long I live or how far I travel, is the traction moving me into the life that has been waiting for me. I can't find the perfect spot to live because I want to travel. I can't find the perfect job because I am the expression waiting to happen in various forms of artistic celebration. That's where the Sacred Beauty Project gets its wings. I don't have to wait for the perfect answer to all that Sacred Beauty Project is because it is a never ending journey.

I have the power to live the life I was meant to live, the one I chose and thought I had to give up. My life has been trying to tell me that all along... ok... I hear you. I get it. Yes

Self Esteem & Good Medicine

2009-04-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

It's taken a lot of work to get to the point where I am finally saying NO to what I really don't want. There are layers upon layers upon layers upon layers that are peeling off right now. The inner dialog I am having as I look within to see what really matters to me and what will really satisfy me and fulfill me is, at least, at the moment, taking large amounts of energy... I'm bringing everything to the inner conversation that I have to bring to it.

I began a project called The Sacred Beauty Project (find it HERE )to uncover the greater beauty of wholeness, of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical congruency. I also created it because of how confused beauty has become with sexuality within the culture and within me. I feel as though I have been running through the maze of it all for years and years, sometimes clear and sometimes confused.

There have been many times when saying NO to what I really did not want was easy. And times when it was very challenging. I'm learning now to master saying NO to what I don't want by reading the blogs of other women... You can read ERIKA'S blog HERE and RORI'S blog HERE

When I say master, I mean, literally, how to say NO with as much reverence, love, appreciation and respect for the other being... and firmness, clarity and self worth. Because it matters to me how I leave another person. It also matters how clear I am being within myself. And it also matters that I am finally able to notice that the path to saying NO can be one to mastering how to leave the situation in peace.

What I picked up along the way about boundary setting has gotten me deeper into conflict in the past year. To experience healthy human love requires having healthy boundaries and limits. It also requires honoring the dignity in a person who simply isn't able to honor a healthy boundary or limit or communicate about it in a way that would open the possibility of deeper connection.

It's my responsibility to myself as someone who has a lot to offer to another to know how to only give of myself what is 100% authentic for me to give of myself. The downward spiral is simply not worth it when I give something of myself that is really not for my highest good. It isn't good for me and it isn't good for the other person, and eventually, it will break both people down into very confused, very unhappy people.

Would I call it self esteem? To find out if this is in fact, the word holding the medicine for me, I looked it up on Wikipedia and this actually amazed me! If you want to see for yourself, click HERE

Our models for creating self esteem are, it would seem, very diverse! This is another hidden reason I created Sacred Beauty Project! To look at the ways our culture has manufactured self esteem and to know what it really is!

WOW! I feel like I just discovered the smallest, most universal particle of human interaction... and it is time to go within and let this expanded understanding illuminate within.

It feels good to have some fresh insight... it feels like good medicine.

Love,
~Gayla

Creating Separation, Presence, Unity

2009-04-19T13:54:00.000-07:00

I was doing the math this morning... a man, a very delightful friend, came into my life recently to teach me something about myself. He also offered me a friends with benefits relationship. It all sounded really good and just about now, the idea of how he touches me and soothes me feels really good to my sense of loss from the last relationship.

It all seems so easy to take him up on his offer. His caveat was that we weren't to get into the "shit" together. He wants only to serve me. I've already been very delightfully bathed in oxytocin from spending a few evenings taking comfort and cuddling with him. His insight is so damned clear, when he speaks, my soul simply welcomes more.

The only area of difficulty is that I notice I can't be completely present with him... there is a watchful presence inside of me that seems to place natural barriers to exploring further. In doing the math on it this morning... I realized that to continue to go further means I am going to awaken the contractedness inside of me every time he touches me. So, pleasure is going to feel like pain. Because pain is there waiting to be transcended into beauty. That transcendence is my ability to expand my mind. To lift my thoughts up above the patterned responses and rest in an understanding that brings peace and the strong and prevailing sense of feeling good within myself again, fully.

Unity is what the promise of having a sexual experience is all about. If having sex with someone tends to only dilute the experience of unity, then it is offering more of the sense of separation. If I can't be fully present with someone, then I am going to feel separate from them... And this is going to make sharing them, experiencing them, tragic or traumatic.

The soul wants to come together in unity.

So, the offer having been placed on the table... a clean presentation I must admit, one with perks for sure, comes at a time when another offer is also on the table... one of monogamy and longevity, from another man.

The only real thing to know is what leads me to feeling good through the doorway of being present? The sense of friendship from both men is strong. The wisdom they share is strong. The immediacy of one is alluring while the distance I have to cross to be with the other calls for me to become very clear about what my deeper needs are in relation to me.

I can say that I want both. Both are, on the surface, quite good offers. They both require that I stand in my own ability to heal and navigate the stuff that doesn't allow me to be fully present. I set it up that way. It's no one's job to fix the stuff that comes up that doesn't allow me to be fully present.

And I know that the recent past is waiting to be released and it will, when I allow it to be. That recent past does not led me to being present and feeling good. I can only share being present and feeling good when that recent past has been overcome by creating more good feelings, giving myself more options for how to meet my own needs for feeling good.

And here's the riddle... when sex feels good, shouldn't it be one of the medicines used? And the answer is, if it truly and deeply adds to the foundation of feeling good, then for me, yes. If it adds to it while stirring up so much that the experience creates separation within me, then again, I would only choose that option if I was completely clear within myself that I wanted to use that experience as the way through the separation into the unity.

I might just start with unity though and create more of the same...

That's it for today... going for a hike!
Love & Beauty
~Gayla

Goldilocks

2009-04-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine was sharing a blog post about a fictional character, Goldilocks, who is out walking one day and runs into 3 Pick Up Artists who approach her and try their hand each at a version of gaming that will result in Goldilocks deciding to go to Mel's diner with the 3 of them. The object of the Pick Up is that someone will end up sleeping with Goldilocks. You can view it here

There is a whole movement of men who are seeking self improvement through the motivation that to do so will increase their skills at picking up women. My time in researching the movement has led me to understand that men are finding the "art of the pick up" to hold a number of promises for them. The art of pick up is taught by other men who have themselves, realized that they had a particular gift of seduction. It's being taught at top dollar prices. Why? Because most men are feeling lost and wounded when they find the advertising that promises them they will be able to regain control over women and have women eating out of the palm of their hands and purring like kittens in their beds. Most men really, really, really want a woman to be purring in their beds and those that want it more than others, sometimes turn to Pick Up as their path towards discovering how to do that.

Vignettes of love... not the depth of love over time... but moments of seeing someone else as they want to be seen and experienced... Living life as a flow of meaningful or meaningless ,short term, sexually gratifying, mutually desired arrangements between strangers.

The complexities of these kinds of meetings are all that anyone wants to assign to them and there are plenty that abound. Non monogamous relationships with many, many, many multiple partners over years?

Life is what you make of it. I've tried to judge this world of sexual diversity as hard as I can and to no avail. Every time I think I have found something I can hold onto as a reason for why a person shouldn't do something or should, it collapses and I am bound to see something perfect in what others are up to. Again, life is what you make it... it's my ability to serve my own highest good that matters at the end of the day...

For men involved in the game, (which is also a book and a tv show on VH1, The Game) the art of pick up fractalizes out in many different directions, in fact, because some men have been gaining ground on deeper self worth and self value, they have doubled back and decided to advertise to new men looking into Pick Up in a style that is more befitting of very sexy self growth spiritually inclined pick up mastery.

Gaining on one's authentic self happens when the men take the coaching and create their own hybrid version of The Pick Up. Another thing to know about the Pick Up world is it has become a very lucrative industry, men have become very creative in their approach the way that women who sell sex or sensuality have become very good at making a unique offer from the same base line intention.

The fractals of the pick up reach out to men who have the perception that they've been dumped on, mistreated, undervalued, dogged, kicked to the curb, mentally and emotionally abused, sexually frustrated... you name... guys go through their own version of hell at the hands of a woman they attract into their lives and... sooner or later, the lid blows.

In the end, it is all simply based on finding oneself in a state of not feeling good and wanting to feel good again. The basic formula for most break ups is that, in the end, it doesn't feel good... however it happens... unless the formula is somehow altered... and this too is part of what the world of Pick Up is toying with... how to change the formula so that what happens between men and women feels good without the overbearing, overwhelming troughs of not feeling good.

My friend Swami Nitra (otherwise known as Mouna Mushrooms) says it this way, "People are bringing their painbodies together and calling it, Falling in Love". I have to smile when I hear that one! How TRUE! YIKES!

I'm tempted to post one guy's story here... the, my girlfriend left me story that unfolded into his journey as a top PUA, but I won't until I have his permission and his well wishes. No need to stir up trouble... or create more confusion. His story is like most of our stories... it is my story... I got hurt by X and so now, Y is going to make me feel better. The basic idea is a good one except that what's been stirred up by X is going to repeat and transfer and reinvent itself in Y, A, B, C, and so on until a shift in consciousness happens and is integrated...

Repeating the shift in consciousness and integration becomes a path one walks and the path of the Pick Up Artist, Seduction Artist is committed to ... _______________________
well...
I'm going to leave this blank for now but you can fill it in yourself...
because it doesn't matter what the path of the Pick Up Artist is to them.

Rather it is what does it bring up in you?

Marriage of Opposites Continued

2009-04-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

The marriage of opposites (from my last post) is what we do inside of ourselves... for me, it is a reminder that tells me I am fully poised to be fulfilled with myself and therefore, can be fulfilled with one person, who, like me, is waking up. With one person, one committed partnership, all is available. Many of us have lost faith in that because marriage was never properly introduced to the Westerner. At least, that is what I gather. And marriage has served as a vessel for repression for many... I see it as a vessel for transcending and awakening bliss.

I am a big fan of marriage... and a supporter to people who are married with a clear spiritual understanding of themselves and each other.

That's all I have for now...

The Marriage of Opposites ~ Practice, Practice, Practice

2009-03-20T00:31:00.000-07:00

Adventure OR Commitment... Devotion OR Commitment... Freedom OR Commitment... Freedom OR Security... Money OR Love... Passion OR Peace ???

The

Marriage

Opposites...

Being a Sexually Alive Woman/Man AND Being Respected/Respectful/Embodying Integrity... Being Fully Awakened Spiritually AND Having Deeply Fulfilling Sex... Having Deeply Fulfilling Sex AND Being Totally In Love with God... Having a Profoundly Meaningful, Lusciously Alive, Exclusive Relationship AND Having Freedom... Having A Profoundly Meaningful, Lusciously Alive, Exclusive Relationship AND Having Fulfilling Sexual Awakenings... Having a Profoundly Meaningful, Lusciously Alive, Exclusive Relationship AND a Profoundly Meaningful, Lusciously Alive, Deeply Connected Community... Saying to Someone Fuck You AND Saying I Love You ((and embodying that fully))

Fulfilling Soul Purpose AND Making A Great Living... Being in Touch with Your Primal Lust AND Having a Safe and Loving, Committed, Exclusive Relationship... ???

The Marriage of Opposites

Takes

Time

Patience

And a 1 Degree Shift

to 10 Degree Shift

Of Focus

Ways to overcome

Envy

Jealousy

Insecurity

Fear...

To Take Great Risk

Inside of Safety

is a Conversation I'll Be Having Inside Me Over the Next Few Days...

I'll share more when I feel clear I really have something of value, that is fresh, real and right on... And I'm here to learn from you, with you... with guidance from God/Divine Source...

Blessings!

~Gayla

Queen of Heaven ~ Come On Home Girl!

2009-03-18T16:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD5uPZzBr5c&feature=related from The Color Purple?

I attended Glide Memorial Church in SF two Sundays ago... and I was in awe and amazement... the minister spoke of Sarah, Abraham's wife... who God came to and said, at their old age, they would give birth to a child... they would have decendents that were as numerous as the stars in the sky... Now, Abraham was impressed, right? It was his wife that asked God, is there going to be pleasure in this for me, Lord?

The sermon is available on CD, I highly recommend anyone who has been carrying that piece of feeling or acting as if she has been disowned as a sexually alive woman by the Christian church, get a copy and have a whirl around the dance floor while listening to it... Sunday morning 11 o'clock service... 3/8/09.

I recommend it for men too.

I've never heard a man of the gospel be so brave... so ready to break the chains placed on the feminine over these many thousands of years. We are returning to a world in which community will replace suburbs... we actually do love one another more than we realize... and the idea of property, especially of owning one another is soon to be replaced by the need to support one another in finding our true authentic self... because only from there can you really love unconditionally.

In all of my years keeping the light on for Christian brothers and sisters to finally bring it home... I never thought I would hear it spoken from the pulpit! Woman's pleasure matters... when God choose Sarah... her name was changed to mean, Queen of Heaven.

One of my soul purposes has been to bring forth a healing between the Tantric world and the Christian world on matters of pleasure, higher sexual potential and alchemy. The split is one we are here to move away from... to return to an open hearted and joyous innocence when in pleasure with another... not to become slave to it... not to fear it... We only need to forage into the depths of what love is... and to open to it... the love of God awaits you in sex... it awaits you in knowing when to be alone... It is also in the brotherhood of men who befriend other men who are having a hard time overcoming that split... and showing them the pathway through the dark underbelly of the "'pussy jungle", of unsatiable desire, of the longings of the hungry ghosts... to come home to the shores of infinite and abundant love... generous and profound pleasure... deep and soulful connection. We are here to awaken to the heart opening and to connect that to our sexual union... whether it be with a good girl, bad girl, good boy, bad boy, slut or saint... did you know that celibate monks are now coming to teachers who can help them to navigate the path to sexual awakening?

Wanting to understand how to bring another pleasure, how to awaken another, how to love another, to serve another and to serve your purpose is totally beautiful... would you agree?

Another Opening ~ Another Beginning

2009-03-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

Freeing him... freeing myself... A wave of unconditional love ripples across me like wind rippling over an empty field of tall green grass. I'm left with inspiration, a deepening sense of devotion, deepening appreciation for the journey it is to let go into love.

There is an excitement to the synergy taking place between the two of us... all of my favorite things from lovers past are somehow present in him... It's as if no one I've ever loved has to be left behind.

It gives new clarity to this line by Rumi, "Lovers don't meet somewhere, they're in each other all along..."

ok... so you may notice me becoming increasingly more candid in these posts...

As I became aware that I had lost my faith in the existence of Sacred Sexuality, I fell into despair and depression. Everything seemed lifeless and pale to me. I retreated deep inside... and I studied and read and blogged and talked and retreated and hoped I would come out of it...

Sacred Sexuality is not always what I thought it was.

The Divine Design seems to be having me go this way and that way, zig here and zag there in order to better understand compassionately that although religion and even "spirituality" has tried to deal with the matter of sex between the male and female... and it has only been able to hint at a direction... it has only been a cover for what I feel must be a more honest look at the whole thing... Man and Woman is a church, a temple, a practice, a religion, a spiritual practice of its OWN. It doesn't seem to me that you can overlay anything completely on top of the rawness of man and woman.

It is mysterious. And precious. And beautiful.

Of course, at some points in our lives, we may need the welcoming embrace of the Divine to show us our way into our own authentic depth and we may hear spirit say... take up this practice solo and heal yourself... heal the world by healing yourself... leave sex alone...

Or spirit may say the opposite...

The fruits of loving the Divine are always the sweetest!

Loving Letting Go!

2009-03-11T00:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight I tried this new thing called kunlunjoy ((http://kunlunjoy.com/)) and it’s another wonderful piece to letting go! That’s what the key is right now… let go, let go, let go… emotions come up I don’t like… great… feel them… now decide… do I want to keep them? No… ok… let go! Feel desire for something, feel it, then let it go!

The attraction to someone who eventually turns from sweet to sour in order to feed the negative thinking patterns is on its way out! I can feel myself clearing it… every week… a little more… I've been digging deep to come to some place that feels good again as it concerns my former boyfriend and I'm beginning to shift from focusing on whether my relating with him is working or not, if he's giving me what I need or not, if I'm giving him what he needs or not... I've dropped past that surface layer to see that those questions are pointing towards symptoms and the greater question is, how is my ability to keep a mindset free of negativity being influenced from my own inner negative thinking patterns as well as his inner negative thinking patterns... I'm no longer concerned about what he does or does not provide me or vise versa... I'm now more intent on listening for the bigger message from the Universe… my freedom to feel good, think in uplifting terms and uplifting patterns, matters (that means freedom from negative thinking and falling into a negative entrainment where someone else's negative thinking begins to shift the ways in which my mind and emotions are in a pleasurable zone)!

It’s available to me! A great partnership is icing on the cake and is easily attracted to a mind vibing in the zone of free to vibe along in a good way! free to feel great for longer and longer periods of time… and longer and longer and longer periods of time…

building muscles of emotional choice!

Sacred Openings & Our Cultural Answers to Creating Them

2009-03-10T13:48:00.000-07:00

I've been considering what is the point of seduction and what is preferred if I were creating the best seduction community possible. Not that I am... I feel I'm gaining ground on understanding what I really desire in partnership... however, this is a fun exercise for me to consider so here it is:

I got a great reminder that we can have an inner commitment to our inner game to be a stand to uplift one another and that is VERY SEXY!

To this recipe I'm creating today, I add to the conversation, a piece from David Deida. I know David Deida speaks about First Stage, Second Stage and Third Stage men... I have a rough idea of what Deida is talking about...

Most recently, I have been interacting with men who are a few years younger than me, after having primarily been lovers with men who were 20 + years older than me.

The differences are astounding!

From a woman's point of view, until both a man and a woman really understand the landscape of what is available to him and to her in terms of the kinds of openings he/she can have, neither can choose a partner or partners who can create context and environment for him/ for her to open as we would all hopefully intend for ourselves... that our openings would only allow us to live in greater love and peace within ourselves.

I'll now speak soley for the feminine side of things: Her somewhat mysterious need is to pass safely through the gnarly underbelly, an "underbelly" which is leading her to greater opening, shedding somatic layers of ancient confusion in her cellular memory and, in instances where she is with a partner experienced enough to understand this journey, he is the grounding, the healer, the shaman, the lifeline and the comforter, giving her the support and encouragement to face the fears and go through the storm of emotions and ego manifestations that might and most likely will arise. By going through that, she is more at peace in the realms of her own embodiment of the unique spiritual reflection she is, both for herself and for her purpose for the collective... and, again, this goes both ways... men have these kinds of openings as well... And it is a very provocative conversation to me about the ways we are shown, what we learn and the spirit by which we undertake learning and sharing our gifts to open one another.

After watching ENTHEOGENESIS ~ AWAKENING THE DIVINE WITHIN, I am more and more beginning to wonder if the seduction community (a community among many embracing open sexual relatedness) is simply our culture's attempt at a best answer to our groping in the dark to replace sacred **indigenous** tribal ritual and ceremonies.

The openings one can experience in the context of ceremony and ritual as seen in the film supply much of what I am finding missing at large in the current culture, including:
1. a tribe, community of witnesses to the journey of initiation (therefore, a larger container and perhaps, greater safety for individuals)
2. A collective understanding of why the initiation is important, why it happens when it does, what the possibilities are on the other side of the initiation
3. Transparency ~ generally, the shamans leading the rituals, ceremonies, are well known over a long period of time for their successes in establishing health and wellbeing ((spiritually as well as physically)) for members of the group... consider the setting on a day to day basis: the shamans' lives are witnessed day in and day out by that community/tribe and there is real time interaction going on between the shamans and the non shamans... treatments of tribal members is on display to some extent to everyone... the guidance and vision of the shamans also observed and on display to the entire group, from elders to babies...
4. Entering into the realms of ecstasy ((this makes more sense after watching the DVD)) on the part of the participants, is well protected and supported by the tribal members. I also am aware now after watching the DVD 7 times, that there is a very real oneness state created in which members are in resonance, **entrained** by the drum beat with one another, so even if you are not the one undergoing the ritual, you are in oneness with the entire process. This means all members matter and all members are more likely in agreement to full participation.
5. the three phases of any initiation are 1. preparation 2. the experience itself 3. the processing afterwards. This means that the whole group/tribe recognizes the importance of integration as it might signal evolution for the entire group.

Gotta run for now!

I'd be interested to hear what others have to say on this subject...

Creating Trust is...

2009-02-26T14:38:00.000-08:00

Creating trust is our ability to value the uniqueness of connecting with another person as a unique being and valuing their needs, their ability to share love... as their unique self...

agree? disagree? more?

From Painbody to Peace

2009-02-26T11:51:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling tender, open and grateful right now. I'm also feeling inspired and alive... a little scared and curious. Next week, I will be introducing you to a new community of people who have challenged me, provoked me, encouraged me, startled me, outraged me, soothed me, pissed me off, bewildered me and guided me... later today I'm going to post a powerful piece which might explain more about how trauma cycles through, or may cycle through, a therapist's experience working with his or her client... and I hope you will be part of the discussion... reflect something... share something authentic...

Whew! I feeling some raw power right now... coming into some kind of connection on a larger scale with some members of my soul family...

I'm offering this conversation about trauma as it effects the life of a therapist to infer that trauma is powerful, very powerful. Therapists who work with it have an incredibly big job to do to transmute it when they are in the presence of it... to transmute it in their own energy fields... and, if the client is open to it, support the client to transmute it as well.

Shift that focus and now we're talking about two people who are drawn together to love each other and also, who have the beautiful intention to help one another heal something in the other person...

I've been working professionally as a healer for 10 years... I personally have found myself relating to a lover, partner as a healer... and have ahd lovers/partners relate to me as same... and I am moving out of that identity into something else... while I am making that shift... I feel very tender to times when I've had the experience of sharing my own wounds with another person, the impact that has had on my relationship with him and vise versa.

God, Life is messy! We all come with "stuff". Wanting to support another person's healing is such a beautiful desire... the intention in that is so tender... so delicious... so... crazy! :) and so precious... and also, so bewildering! I've experienced relating with a man going from that intention which feels so delicious, so incredible, so yum! to nightmare city in relatively a few weeks, a few days, a few months... and trauma arising has been the element that has driven me from tender and loving to angry, scared, terrified, sarcastic to cutting off connection and shutting down completely.

Someone might mention the word Painbody... and that's a word for it... I am going to offer something from my research files, something "new" to the conversation... something to help us create the bridge from painbody to peace.

Sex and the Cultivation of Inner Equilibrium

2009-02-24T14:25:00.000-08:00

Remember I offered a post on Sex (LOVE) and "The Secret"? And I promised more on the topic of how the practice of sex can be a practice to cultivate inner equilibrium? And here it is... Taken from the same article... next is Sex and the Power to Create... This week... also coming up... The Nexus of Mind Expansion and Sexual Freedom... I hope you will leave comments if you like something you read here or have questions, insights, or disagree with something in the posting... I'd love to be sharing this conversation with people who are willing to share something to support each other...

Here's the link to the entire article:
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/sex_and_the_secret

Spiritual traditions often teach the cultivation of equilibrium through meditation or prayer. Most also have monastic orders, which emphasize that celibacy is critically important in this process. It is easy to understand why. Fertilization-driven sex is not only a most powerful urge, but it also sets off a subsequent, subconscious cycle of perception-shifting neurochemical changes. Without our realizing it consciously, both sexual frustration and climax powerfully influence our state of mind in ways that temporarily disrupt our sense of wellbeing and balance. Beset with intense desires or unnatural apathy, we suffer — and our reality reflects back to us that suffering, hampering our spiritual optimism and progress.

Devotional celibacy takes the knife out of aspirants' hands by mandating gender segregation, declaring lustful thoughts off-limits, and teaching practices that aid in quieting such thoughts. However, it may be even more effective to master an approach to sex that promotes equilibrium in a stable, sustainable way. Without the intense neurochemistry that accompanies climax one also quells the subconscious ripples that inevitably follow at a neurochemical level.

The chief risk of the "controlled intercourse" path is that the initial learning curve may result in so many slips back into orgasm that the couple does not experience the benefits of equilibrium and gives up before mastering the practice. If a couple masters it, however, the practice of making love without orgasm often proves more sustainable than celibacy. Its other advantage over celibacy is that it counters the aching longings of celibacy — which are feelings of lack (more on the significance of feelings of lack in a moment).

True, the couple may experience a longing for orgasm for a time, but as they continue this gentle lovemaking practice, focusing strictly on the generous healing of each other, they often find that the longing for orgasm settles down to quite manageable levels, replaced by a comforting sense of wholeness and wellbeing. Dr. J. William Lloyd described this sensation:

in successful Karezza the rest of the body of each partner glows with a wonderful vigor and conscious joy…tending to irradiate the whole being with romantic love; and always with an after-feeling of health, purity and wellbeing. We are most happy and good-humored as after a full meal.

The power of a subtle sense of lack

Why should feelings of wholeness and wellbeing be so important in shaping how our thoughts manifest? After all, can't we just visualize away any sexual hangovers using the principles of The Secret?

Alas, the law of attraction does not function solely based on our conscious thoughts. Our subconscious feelings and expectations also shape our experience. If we're feeling satisfied, whole and full of energy, then we tend to attract events that reflect our inner fullness: material abundance, time for things we need to do, and a sense that the Divine is nurturing us.

However, if we are feeling depleted or needy, our feelings tend to attract draining events, taxing demands, inadequate support from those around us … and above all material scarcity or greed. When we have a subconscious sense of lack, it feels like there isn't enough to go around, so it feels risky to share what we have with others. Selfishness is therefore a natural outcome of feeling depleted or needy.

Ever wondered where all the scarcity and selfishness come from on this planet? Obviously, no one consciously uses the law of attraction to create scarcity. Yet, if you look around, a sense of "not enough" is clearly one of the most powerful thought-forms on this planet.

Is it possible that humanity creates and reinforces subconscious feelings of lack constantly with fertilization driven sex? Certainly, the sensational feeling of high dopamine at orgasm is followed by a steep drop in dopamine (and other neurochemical changes that last for days). Low dopamine gives one a sense that some key element for happiness is missing, a malaise that colors one's perception of the world, and tends to attract accordingly. Might that be how humans contribute to a worldwide lack of material abundance, and the tendency to cheat or grab more than their share?

Because some of these shifts occur at a subconscious level, we may not be aware of these subtle changes in perception. Yet that doesn't prevent the law of attraction from operating on them.

If we are feeling jumpy with excess sexual energy, what might that state of mind attract? Distractions, short-term or unrealistic thinking, get-rich-quick schemes, and desires for addictive highs (sex or substances). These perfectly natural subconscious feelings, which are also normal phases of the orgasm cycle, play a profound role in what we create in our lives — no matter how deliberately and scientifically we employ the law of attraction at a conscious level.

Giving Myself a Modern Day Talk About The Birds & The Bees

2009-02-19T20:02:00.001-08:00

Does this blog on Enlightened Relationship generally always have to be about sex? No... And, I like including a mix of articles, a mix of perspectives. At this time, I am finding my arena of learning to lean towards focusing on the cross over between integrating spirituality with sexuality, attraction, the nature of how relationships form. The Bay Area is a wild mix of very sexy people, very spiritual people, powerful natural elements, therapeutic experimentation and intense creativity, amazing powers of intellect and, oh yeah, occultism.

I am also learning to discern the nature of intention any person might have towards another person as it relates to mixing spirituality and sexuality, in part, because I want to learn just how well spiritual values translate into the way we establish relationships, which generally means, to some degree, establishes sex in both the context of relationship and, when relationship is not part of the package.

I've been the most confused in my spiritual path by relationship dynamics. So, I've slowed things way down and I've been reading a lot by way of the Seduction Community. It's easier to get an unadulterated view of what I've encountered with men by researching the SC. Why? The Seduction Community includes Pick Up Artists and because there are guys writing their own blogs who are willing to be completely radically honest about their moves, concepts, techniques and motivations... as well as their questions and their individual style. They are not hiding the fact that they want to pick up women or how they do it or what they are being told works and why. So, as a woman, this is very helpful. Now I know what I might be experiencing, from my perspective to be a romantic or even a "soul mate" interlude when really it could be some guy trying out his latest pick up tip or technique.

I'm learning to cut through the acts, watch out for the gamers, play with the beautiful of heart and spirit, have compassion for the challenge it is for men to connect with women and get to the intention and to the authenticity of a human being. The authenticity is where I most like to hang out with someone... and the more that can be without pressure for sex or the pressure that comes when a guy is trying to cut me off from others so he can increase his chances with me, the more at ease I feel relating as human beings.

I tuned into the SC by way of a woman writing her own blog from her mostly, A Course In Miracles, perspective. When I first started tuning into her blog, she was writing a lot about ACIM. She's since been to Vegas and I haven't heard as much about ACIM since she got back!

She is obviously a spiritual tuned in person with a very lovely, warm and genuine heart in addition to being a great writer and willing to share in detail how her experiences have been unfolding for her. What I like about her writing is that she explains she's been celibate for 4 years (until recently) and that, she made very deliberate choices about her change of status.

She's also been able to create and keep men as good friends throughout her celibacy period. This to me is well worth the read!

I'm in an exploration period myself. I like having good connections with people and being social and I truly love life when I relate to men who are as loving, charming and wonderful to be around and willing to deeply connect with me regardless of whether there is sexual interest or not. Most of my life has been trying to balance out the sexual attention that has come my way ~ though often frustrating, overwhelming, annoying, exciting, delicious, scary, you name it, I've felt a lot of responses to other people being turned on by me ~ and I'm sure that all the attention has been a response to my natural tendency to be a very sensual being as well as being willing to be an alive presence!

I'm learning a lot about my own responses to recent explorations in dating, including letting myself off the hook quite a bit for some connections that did not work out. I've been learning the Anatomy of Making Connection as well as the Anatomy of Respect.

Putting Respect and Making Connection into practice is bringing up fresh insights! I hope you'll come back for more on the specifics of both!

Love Actually

2009-02-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

From http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=914609

Amid the grieving, a rare act of sportsmanship

Associated Press

The coach never considered any other option.

It didn't matter that his DeKalb, Ill., High School basketball team had ridden a bus two and a half hours to get to Milwaukee, then waited another hour past game time to play. Didn't matter that the game was close, or that this was a chance to beat a big city team.



Johntel Franklin scored 10 points in the game following the loss of his mother.

Something else was on Dave Rohlman's mind when he asked for a volunteer to shoot two free throws awarded his team on a technical foul in the second quarter. His senior captain raised his hand, ready to go to the line as he had many times before.

Only this time it was different.

"You realize you're going to miss them, don't you?" Rohlman said.

Darius McNeal nodded his head. He understood what had to be done.

It was a Saturday night in February, and the Barbs were playing a non-conference game on the road against Milwaukee Madison. It was the third meeting between the two schools, who were developing a friendly rivalry that spanned two states.

The teams planned to get together after the game and share some pizzas and soda. But the game itself almost never took place.

Hours earlier, the mother of Milwaukee Madison senior captain Johntel Franklin died at a local hospital. Carlitha Franklin had been in remission after a five-year fight with cervical cancer, but she began to hemorrhage that morning while Johntel was taking his college ACT exam.

Her son and several of his teammates were at the hospital late that afternoon when the decision was made to turn off the life-support system. Carlitha Franklin was just 39.

"She was young and they were real close," said Milwaukee coach Aaron Womack Jr., who was at the hospital. "He was very distraught and it happened so suddenly he didn't have time to grieve."

Womack was going to cancel the game, but Franklin told him he wanted the team to play. And play they did, even though the game started late and Milwaukee Madison dressed only eight players.

Early in the second quarter, Womack saw someone out of the corner of his eye. It was Franklin, who came there directly from the hospital to root his teammates on.

The Knights had possession, so Womack called a time out. His players went over and hugged their grieving teammate. Fans came out of the stands to do the same.

"We got back to playing the game and I asked if he wanted to come and sit on the bench," Womack said during a telephone interview.

"No," Franklin replied. "I want to play."

There was just one problem. Since Franklin wasn't on the pre-game roster, putting him in meant drawing a technical foul that would give DeKalb two free throws.

Though it was a tight game, Womack was willing to give up the two points. It was more important to help his senior guard and co-captain deal with his grief by playing.

Over on the other bench, though, Rohlman wasn't so willing to take them. He told the referees to forget the technical and just let Franklin play.

"I could hear them arguing for five to seven minutes, saying, `We're not taking it, we're not taking it," Womack said. "The refs told them, no, that's the rule. You have to take them."

That's when Rohlman asked for volunteers, and McNeal's hand went up.

He went alone to the free throw line, dribbled the ball a couple of times, and looked at the rim.

His first attempt went about two feet, bouncing a couple of times as it rolled toward the end line. The second barely left his hand.

It didn't take long for the Milwaukee players to figure out what was going on.

They stood and turned toward the DeKalb bench and started applauding the gesture of sportsmanship. Soon, so did everybody in the stands.

"I did it for the guy who lost his mom," McNeal told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. "It was the right thing to do."

They may not remember our record 20 years from now, but they'll remember what happened in that gym that night.

? Dave Rohlman, head coach of the opposing DeKalb team on what his players will take away from this experience.

Franklin would go on to score 10 points, and Milwaukee Madison broke open the game in the second half to win 62-47. Afterward, the teams went out for pizza, two players from each team sharing each pie.

Franklin stopped by briefly, thankful that his team was there for him.

"I got kind of emotional but it helped a lot just to play," he said. "I felt like I had a lot of support out there."

Carlitha Franklin's funeral was last Friday, and the school turned out for her and her son. Cheerleaders came in uniform, and everyone from the principal and teachers to Johntel's classmates were there.

"Even the cooks from school showed up," Womack said. "It lets you know what kind of kid he is."

Basketball is a second sport for the 18-year-old Franklin, who says he has had some scholarship nibbles and plans to play football in college. He just has a few games left for the Knights, who are 6-11 and got beat 71-36 Tuesday night by Milwaukee Hamilton.

It hasn't been the greatest season for the team, but they have stuck together through a lot of adversity.

"We maybe don't have the best basketball players in the world but they go to class and take care of business," Womack said. "We have a losing record but there's life lessons going on, good ones."

None so good, though, as the moment a team and a player decided there were more important things than winning and having good stats.

Yes, DeKalb would go home with a loss. But it was a trip they'll never forget.

"This is something our kids will hold for a lifetime," Rohlman said. "They may not remember our record 20 years from now, but they'll remember what happened in that gym that night."

If I'm Really Awake, Is There Still A "Need" For Partnership?

2009-02-18T12:34:00.000-08:00

What is so "Enlightened" about relationship? Isn't "Enlightenment" enough?

A recent clash with a spiritual teacher brought me face to face with this question. Like oil and water, the view of monk life and from that place, of celibacy disturbed me and when push came to shove, I found my core Amazon like strength to disengage from this teacher's fierce stance steeped in dogmatic ideas as my own voice of clarity awoke. Relationship with the opposite sex is the most powerful force that has stimulated my growth in awareness. That includes times when I am not "in relationship" with someone, which represents very precious time spent relating to life "as if all of life matters", because, well, it does.

The draw to partner is very strong for me... and I've wondered about that... Is it normal and healthy to be so powerfully motivated by male/female relating? And, have you ever asked yourself this one: If I am to be fully awake, would I still have a need for a relationship? Would a guy still feel drawn to a me? Would I, as a woman still feel incomplete without a guy?

What's your experience? Questions? Your comments are so appreciated... what you have to share may be exactly what another person needs to hear to make a shift in their life to be more awake, more at peace, more alive...

From Erkhart Tolle's Power of Now when speaking on Enlightened Relationships:

Enlightened or not, you are either a man or a woman, so on the level of your form identity you are not complete. You are one-half of the whole. This incompleteness is felt as male-female attraction, the pull toward the opposite energy polarity, no matter how conscious you are. But in that inner state of connectedness, you feel this pull somewhere on the surface or periphery of your life. Anything that happens to you in that state feels somewhat like that. The whole world seems like waves or ripples on the surface of a vast and deep ocean. You are that ocean and, of course, you are also a ripple, but a ripple that has realized its true identity as the ocean, and compared to that vastness and depth, the world of waves and ripples is not all that important.

This does not mean that you don't relate deeply to other people or to your partner. In fact, you can relate deeply ONLY if you are conscious of Being. Coming from Being, you are able to focus beyond the veil of form. In Being, male and female are one. Your form may continue to have certain needs, but Being has none. It is already complete and whole. If those needs are met, that is beautiful, but whether or not they are met makes no difference to your deep inner state. So it is perfectly possible for an enlightened person, if the need for male or female polarity is not met, to feel a sense of lack or incompleteness on the outer level of his or her being, yet at the same time be totally complete, fulfilled and at peace within.

What is Self Love? Help or Hinderence?

2009-02-18T12:18:00.000-08:00

I spotted a New Age magazine last night... the February issue... with its red cover and headlines proclaiming the power of Self Love... I'm often curious about what is meant by Self Love... In my own experience, I have had to develop an awareness of what is "good for me" and what is not "good for me" and the path that has helped me to lean towards more of what is good for me has been the path of Self Love. I'm embracing moving towards beauty and away from things that are not beautiful. What about the concept of Self Love will support that and what about Self Love will hang me up?

Asked another way: What is the truth about Self Love? What is the truth about having a good relationship with "yourself" before you can have a good relationship with others?

Reprinted From Erkart Tolle's The Power of Now when speaking on Enlightened Relationships

If you cannot be at ease with yourself when you are alone, you will seek a relationship to cover up your unease. You can be sure that the unease will then reappear in some other form within the relationship and you will probably hold your partner responsible for it.

All you really need to do is accept this moment fully. You are then at ease in the here and now and at ease with yourself.

But do you need to have a relationship with yourself at all? Why can't you just be yourself? When you have a relationship with yourself, you have split yourself into two: "I" and "myself" - subject and object. That mind-created duality is the root cause of all unneccessary complexity, of all problems and conflict in your life. In the state of enlightenment, you ARE yourself - - "you" and "yourself" merge into one. You do not judge yourself, you do not feel sorry for yourself, you are not proud of yourself, you do not love yourself, you do not hate yourself, and so on. The split caused by self-reflective consciousness is healed, its curse removed.

There is no "self" that you need to protect, defend, or feed anymore. When you are enlightened, there is one relationship that you no longer have: the relationship with yourself. Once you have given that up, all your other relationships will be love relationships.

Blessing For Two Couples Shining Love

2009-02-14T11:29:00.000-08:00

Two beautiful couples I want to celebrate today:

Barack & Michelle Obama ~ I want to thank Barack for acknowledging Michelle as your teacher, Barack! We see the depth of your true love, your warm and powerfully surrendered acceptance of your deeper need for this goddess to nurture the best in you, to hold the balance of power for the world... and I personally thank you for the balance of masculine & feminine within your individual selves as well as in your union you both ushered forth for the world... as well as for bringing real love into the house of power for government... I also thank your beautiful children who came to our world to inspire your greater love for all children, present and future generations

Deva Primal & Miten ~ There is such beauty in them and that they create to share with us...

Just a quick peek at two long standing blessed couples...

Anyone else have a couple that inspires them? leave a comment...

Let yourself continue to be inspired by love being revealed through couples in our world, sending them love and letting the power of their love bless us

The Business Development of a Sacred Purpose

2009-02-11T03:19:00.000-08:00

It is by grace that I came to know that my needs are of great value... understanding that led me to know that my needs are linked to my purpose in life. Being on purpose in life is about living An Inspired Life! It takes trust to hold a vision in "times like these".

In times like these, what is being taken away seems to be the essential stuff... and then... when the stuff that seems to be essential is at risk of or has been "taken away", we get to touch, taste, see, hear, feel a deeper essential.

The stuff we thought was essential, like our house, our way of life, our jobs, all temporarily vanishes into the VOID, waiting for us to come to an deeper understanding of what is truly essential... waiting for us to awaken... This is what I feel is the stealth transformation of the Grassroots Movement. If we are the grassroots, we have to be coming from that deeper essential first...

That's how I see the spiritual journey unfolding for people who have lost their homes and their jobs. A reordering of priorities. A chance to feel the fear... to feel the freedom... to awaken... to realign... I've been homeless. I've been a stranger in my own home.

All of it has been sacred service... and over the past 3 weekends, I came back home to myself, thanks to Jesse and Sharla with the Rejuvenate Your Practice Seminar... and the great soul family that came together to work with each other at RYP and in my 90 Day 3 day weekend.

Tomorrow, I'm going to share with you how the Amazon Awoke in a professional development seminar!
love to all!

See you then, :)

How Sexy is Your Bottom Line?

2009-02-11T02:56:00.000-08:00

What is the sexiest bottom line ever? What is it that drives a woman out of her mind and into her heart? What breaks her open to God? Trust.

Not blind faith...

Not overcoming her will... (David Deida exposed...)

It's all about Trust.

Because, she is not just a person who can be opened to God by her spiritually savvy superman. She is a being who is here to give a gift for the world. And, BTW, so is her spiritually savvy superman or SSS.

When engaging a woman's trust, or engaging a man's trust, is there ever this question: Who can she be for the world? When engaging a man's trust, is there that same question? Who can he be for the world? Trust knows the answer to that one.

How do you "get to trust"? How to you "get back to trust" if it's been broken? How does someone whose trust has been violated make a fresh start? When trust has been broken for either one of you before you meet one another and there is a special calling to connect with that someone you JUST HAVE TO KNOW, how do you know how to create that trust?

Are there sexier ways than others to build trust? I certainly hope so! Are there more spiritually beautiful ways to build trust that are also sexy? I hope so...

Care to share a comment?

Sex, (LOVE) and "The Secret" ~ Wisdom's Deeper Message

2009-02-10T01:21:00.000-08:00

You know how some people seem really good at working with "Magic"? I was in awe this weekend when, while in a discussion with a friend, I heard myself say, "Love trumps magic." And I realize... it does! "Love trumps magic." Grace, miracles flow from love.

"Magic" arises out of love also... sometimes... I would refer to love based magic as grace, as a miracle... as love consciousness surrendering to itself, wanting what it wants only to manifest when the highest good of all is going to be served... only when the highest and greatest good of all is going to be served...

What's your experience? Share your insights by leaving a comment below! :)

I found this to be an insightful article. It speaks to our inherent need to consider the subconscious impulses that influence our power as creators of our own reality... What's your subconscious impulse been up to lately?

From http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/sex_and_the_secret

How many people have asked you, "Seen The Secret yet?" It's a documentary about the law of attraction. The message is that our thoughts, feelings and expectations shape our experience of the material plane. The film reminds us to choose thoughts consciously, as we tend to create more of whatever we focus upon — desirable or undesirable.

Consciously focusing on what we hope to create is certainly wise. Yet it may be even more vital to cultivate equilibrium. Without inner equilibrium, we can easily trip on two major stumbling blocks when using the principles of "The Secret." The first is that we may choose what we want to create based on primitive brain impulses from the Limbic and Reptilian portions of the brain (see diagram below) that are not in our true best interest. The second is that our subconscious feelings also manifest in our lives, so mood swings born of subtle neurochemical shifts create unintended results. Intense fluctuating feelings mean that one minute we see clear evidence that the Divine is in our corner, and the next moment it feels as if we are being punished for some infraction we don't remember committing.

In contrast, equilibrium encourages genuine wellbeing. Such feelings attract fulfillment and a strong faith that the universe is beneficent.

What do you really want?

Let's look first at how impulses can influence the use of the law of attraction. All mammals are programmed with powerful urges for certain things, whether or not those things are in their best interest. In the case of humans these include preference for sugary and fatty foods, short-term benefits without considering long-term consequences, impulsive procreation, changing mates, and so forth. Across our species such innate urges foster survival to sexual maturity and the passing on of as many genes as possible. It is not the job of these primitive urges to move us toward personal growth, harmonious long-term relationships, or heightened spiritual awareness.

Therefore, if we rely strictly on our cravings to decide what we will use The Secret to create, our choices tend to be skewed. For example, an addict might be tempted to use the law of attraction to manifest a lifestyle that enables him to obtain the substance or indulge in the activity to which he is addicted. The power to manifest an "adult shop" around the corner is probably not the highest use of the law of attraction. Similarly, a woman might be tempted to attract a particular lover based on sexual chemistry. She may not realize that the qualities her primitive brain is seeking in him in order to pass on more genes via her own offspring — such as his attractiveness to other women — are not the qualities that would make him a good life partner. In each case, the person employing the law of attraction would be using it self-destructively because he/she is pursuing subconscious impulses, which feel like great ideas.

The source of these primitive impulses, the reward circuitry in the brain's limbic system, is a fountain of wants and desires. Part of its function is to encourage us to engage in an ongoing search for satisfaction … without ever finding it. It keeps us striving. This perpetual questing has spread humans around the globe in ever increasing numbers. It also leaves mankind extremely susceptible to marketing and advertising that promise satisfaction — whatever they actually deliver. In short, our built-in perpetual dissatisfaction allows us to be manipulated so that we exploit the resources of the planet with little regard for balance. Frankly, the film The Secret itself encourages this reflexive consumerism.

Buddha studied this weakness in human design a long time ago, and concluded that the source of all mankind's misery is desire. Yet there is a way to counteract this built-in weakness. By cultivating inner equilibrium, we can muffle the cravings that otherwise lead us to grasp at each new sexual (or other) thrill, culinary temptation, promise of short-term relief, or impressive gizmo. With a sense of balanced wellbeing, it is easier to see which things really benefit us.

As it turns out, we may be better served by deeper, more harmonious interactions with others, time to read our inner compasses so we use our lives to best effect, a sense of connectedness and alignment with the Divine, and forgiveness and service to others. Our own actions act as magnets — attracting similar actions from others, so forgiveness and selfless service are particularly useful.

The point is that we need inner balance and freedom from our intense, primitive yearnings to bring our best goals to conscious awareness. Only then can we use the law of attraction safely and in the best interest of all.

For the complete article, click on the link above or come back... I'll be posting Part II later this week! What you have to look forward to is further brilliance expressed through

Sex and the cultivation of inner equilibrium

and

Sex and the power to create

Sexual Consciousness ~ Transmutation of Sexual Energy

2009-02-09T14:32:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited you are here! I've got something to say, AND IT FEELS SO GOOD TO FINALLY BE SAYING IT!

This blog is intended to serve as the nexus of awakening, relationship, sex, purpose, service and...of course... love.

Leave comments for me and for others to read... share the love! Your feedback is so welcome and very appreciated. At the bottom of the post, you will see the word, COMMENT... it's tiny so look carefully... click there and post and read comments from others...

Below, I have provided a teaching that I simply love from Alice Bailey written in 1936! When I first read it, I was filled with an "almost" electrical current of energy that feels just like the energy that signals I am having an awakening moment. It's been 3 years since I first read this passage and WOW! How life has unfolded to teach me the value of what Alice Bailey is writing about in this passage from A Compilation on Sex!

These teachings from Alice Bailey are some of the most profound I've ever come across!!! I especially love the mention that man's attitude toward women will change and womens' attitude towards their destiny will change!

BTW: I've been immersed in a "Holistic Heart Based Model for Taking What You Do in the World to the Next Level" ~~~ code for integrating heart, soul, life purpose, vision with business development that is complimentary to serving authentically.

During my immersion process over the past 3 weekends, I have met so many amazing women and men who are aware that their vision to care and serve are BIG visions! BIG! And, I am literally both the observer and the participant in helping to evolve those systems of business development that support women and men to develop and create those BIG VISIONS! Life is soooo good!

I'm going to talk more about who has been providing me business development in tomorrow's blog... (and yes, this is a teaser to inspire you to come back! This week I will also be sharing a post that will rock your spiritual sexual world... here's a quick sneak preview...

A Bridge to Reunion

Imagine a stable relationship in which the psychic link with your lover is so powerful that you feel like two hands of the same body, your interests perfectly complementary, your ability to serve Spirit unhampered by emotional drama in your intimate relationship. Can this deep sense of peace be the key to aligning us once again with the wholeness of the Divine? Could it restore our spiritual vision so that we welcome the oneness that lies behind the illusion of separation?

Does that sound Yummmmmmiieeee or WHAT?

MORE ABOUT TOMORROW'S BLOG ~ THE BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT OF A SACRED PURPOSE:
What I've been growing into is STUNNING! I've been sharing this process with an average of 60 people. Those people now represent the backbone of a community supporting one another to take each other to a new level of living AN INSPIRED LIFE by BEING ON PURPOSE!

Stop by tomorrow, subscribe to this blog and I look forward to your (radically honest) comments!

For now, enjoy and hopefully allow yourself to be uplifted and inspired by Alice Bailey...

Transmutation of sexual energy... requires regulation of sexual desire ~
From the Alice Bailey materials A Compulation on Sex

...In no department of life will these coming great changes show more potently than in the attitude of man towards sex, and in the readjustment of the marriage relationship. This new attitude will gradually come about as the slowly developing science of psychology comes into its own. As man comes to understand his own threefold nature, and as the nature of consciousness and the depth of his own subconscious life are more truly grasped, there will take place, gradually and automatically, a change in the attitude of men towards women and of women towards their destiny. This needed change ... will come slowly, as the result of the intelligent interest of the next three generations. The young people now coming into incarnation, and those who will come during the next century, will prove themselves well equipped to handle this problem of sex, because they can see more clearly than the older generation, and will think in wider and larger terms than is common today. They will be more group conscious and less individualistic and selfish; they will be more interested in new ideas than in the ancient theologies, and will be freer from prejudice and less intolerant than are the bulk of the well-meaning people of today....

As the creative urge is turned upwards from the sacral centre to the throat, man will live less potently in his physical sexual urges, and more consistently in his creative expression. His physical plane life will proceed along normal lines, but it is necessary for men to realise that the manner in which man today satisfies his sexual nature is abnormal and unregulated, and that we are on our way to a wise normality. The craving for selfish pleasure and for the satisfaction of an animal urge, which is instinctually right when regulated and debasingly wrong when prostituted purely to enjoyment, will give place to a mutual decision by both of the parties concerned. The decision will meet a natural need in a right and suitable and regulated manner. Today one party or other is usually sacrificed, either to an undue abstinence or to an unseemly profligacy. (1936)

Love Like No One Has Ever Loved Before

2009-01-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

"When they ask for the shirt, you give the coat also. You share and give like no one has ever shared and give before... You love like no one's ever loved before... You do not try to mimic or copy anybody.. You become an all originating idea, a singular manifestation of the power and the energy of the Cosmic Christ and you say, "Look", "Look at it!" "Look at what I'm trying to do here!" and you begin to shine and to glow"

From a message delivered by Dr Rev Michael Beckwith,of Agape International Spiritual Center, called Amplify, Then Fly!