Wednesday, February 18, 2009

What is Self Love? Help or Hinderence?

I spotted a New Age magazine last night... the February issue... with its red cover and headlines proclaiming the power of Self Love... I'm often curious about what is meant by Self Love... In my own experience, I have had to develop an awareness of what is "good for me" and what is not "good for me" and the path that has helped me to lean towards more of what is good for me has been the path of Self Love. I'm embracing moving towards beauty and away from things that are not beautiful. What about the concept of Self Love will support that and what about Self Love will hang me up?
Asked another way:  What is the truth about Self Love? What is the truth about having a good relationship with "yourself" before you can have a good relationship with others?

Reprinted From Erkart Tolle's The Power of Now when speaking on Enlightened Relationships

If you cannot be at ease with yourself when you are alone, you will seek a relationship to cover up your unease. You can be sure that the unease will then reappear in some other form within the relationship and you will probably hold your partner responsible for it.
All you really need to do is accept this moment fully. You are then at ease in the here and now and at ease with yourself.

But do you need to have a relationship with yourself at all? Why can't you just be yourself? 

When you have a relationship with yourself, you have split yourself into two: "I" and "myself" - subject and object. That mind-created duality is the root cause of all unneccessary complexity, of all problems and conflict in your life. In the state of enlightenment, you ARE yourself - - "you" and "yourself" merge into one. You do not judge yourself, you do not feel sorry for yourself, you are not proud of yourself, you do not love yourself, you do not hate yourself, and so on. The split caused by self-reflective consciousness is healed, its curse removed.

There is no "self" that you need to protect, defend, or feed anymore. When you are enlightened, there is one relationship that you no longer have: the relationship with yourself. Once you have given that up, all your other relationships will be love relationships.


tinque said...

an interesting viewpoint. on the one hand I like it in its simplicity, its beingness, but on the other, and maybe it's semantics, I feel it absolutely necessary to be in tune with myself, to be aware of what I'm feeling and where it manifests, in my body, in my behavior, in my feelings, whether positive or negative, whether it serves me or no. this could be called an isness, or it could be called having a relationship with self.
I'll have to ponder this some more.

Gayla D'Gaia said...

Hugs Back!